Posts Tagged With: childhood

Childish Wonder: Genuine Happiness

I never thought that I would stop playing with dolls, but that was the old me.  I thought that I’d be playing barbies with my older sister as long as we lived, and that it would always be like that: fun and games.  It did make me sad when SHE stopped playing first, but I still stayed in that childish wonder bubble that I thought would never pop.  Middle childhood was, collectively, the best time of my life (I say middle because I don’t remember early childhood so much.)  There was never really a day that was bad, and I had an ocean load of imaginative ideas that kept me going.  I would wonder how things worked, why certain things happened, always curious.  That was a time when I didn’t know much “facts” and when I really didn’t have much boundaries. Rocks would be entertaining to me.  The simple things always cheered me up. I was always genuinely happy.  I realize that it was a time when I didn’t care about how I looked or what people thought about me.  Of course, since I was just a child free from worries.

When I think about it, it’s mostly because the internet wasn’t exploding at that time yet.  I couldn’t believe it when a saw a little five year old girl with her own iPad.  The early 2000’s gave me a backyard to explore and  crumpled newspapers that I play-pretended to be freshly baked bread from my bakery (a.k.a. front porch.)  I didn’t have any electronics except for the television, which I watched a lot of cartoons from– but not so much that I didn’t have time to express my spontaneous imagination.

Having experienced two years in a college campus now, I feel that that child part of me is slowly being stripped away.  The innocence that provided me genuine happiness from simple items is diminishing.  Again,as a younger child, I didn’t think this would happen.  I saw many grumpy elders and adults that were so involved and stressed with their jobs.  I told myself that I wasn’t going to be like that.  I would always hold my barbie in my hand and find time to play.  I would be the grown up that didn’t get caught up with insane worries.  I would be a child at heart until the day I died…. Yet, I forgot about those thoughts.  I’ve been the opposite. I care about stupid things like how I look and how people would judge me.

I just finished watching one of my childhood movies: Spirited Away; that’s why I’m writing this.  When the movie ended, a surge of that childhood wonder came back.  The magic in the movie itself lifted me up: I was literally “spirited away.”  That’s when the thoughts of being my old kiddie-self came back… that breathtaking awe that no other thing can give me.  I am still feeling it now.  (mostly from the nostalgia)

So to my even-older-future self, I hope that you get to read this.  I want you to remember that there is still a child inside of you.   Don’t be an old fart, forgetting about  beauty in  simple things.

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Categories: Day by Day | Tags: , , | 2 Comments

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