Monthly Archives: March 2014

Childish Wonder: Genuine Happiness

I never thought that I would stop playing with dolls, but that was the old me.  I thought that I’d be playing barbies with my older sister as long as we lived, and that it would always be like that: fun and games.  It did make me sad when SHE stopped playing first, but I still stayed in that childish wonder bubble that I thought would never pop.  Middle childhood was, collectively, the best time of my life (I say middle because I don’t remember early childhood so much.)  There was never really a day that was bad, and I had an ocean load of imaginative ideas that kept me going.  I would wonder how things worked, why certain things happened, always curious.  That was a time when I didn’t know much “facts” and when I really didn’t have much boundaries. Rocks would be entertaining to me.  The simple things always cheered me up. I was always genuinely happy.  I realize that it was a time when I didn’t care about how I looked or what people thought about me.  Of course, since I was just a child free from worries.

When I think about it, it’s mostly because the internet wasn’t exploding at that time yet.  I couldn’t believe it when a saw a little five year old girl with her own iPad.  The early 2000’s gave me a backyard to explore and  crumpled newspapers that I play-pretended to be freshly baked bread from my bakery (a.k.a. front porch.)  I didn’t have any electronics except for the television, which I watched a lot of cartoons from– but not so much that I didn’t have time to express my spontaneous imagination.

Having experienced two years in a college campus now, I feel that that child part of me is slowly being stripped away.  The innocence that provided me genuine happiness from simple items is diminishing.  Again,as a younger child, I didn’t think this would happen.  I saw many grumpy elders and adults that were so involved and stressed with their jobs.  I told myself that I wasn’t going to be like that.  I would always hold my barbie in my hand and find time to play.  I would be the grown up that didn’t get caught up with insane worries.  I would be a child at heart until the day I died…. Yet, I forgot about those thoughts.  I’ve been the opposite. I care about stupid things like how I look and how people would judge me.

I just finished watching one of my childhood movies: Spirited Away; that’s why I’m writing this.  When the movie ended, a surge of that childhood wonder came back.  The magic in the movie itself lifted me up: I was literally “spirited away.”  That’s when the thoughts of being my old kiddie-self came back… that breathtaking awe that no other thing can give me.  I am still feeling it now.  (mostly from the nostalgia)

So to my even-older-future self, I hope that you get to read this.  I want you to remember that there is still a child inside of you.   Don’t be an old fart, forgetting about  beauty in  simple things.

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Categories: Day by Day | Tags: , , | 2 Comments

“Man at the End of the Rainbow”

This randomly popped up in my brain today, and I had to write it.

She sat on a swing as the rain started to pour.

“Come inside,” I said. I held it open, the door.

What took me by surprise was the smile on her face,

Eyes fixed on the stormy clouds, she looked so amazed.

I asked why she was so happy on such a dark awful day,

 

And she said,

“Because when it’s all over, I’ll go on my way.

There is a man at the end of the rainbow

Who’s waiting to grant my wish

All I have to do is wait til the storm passes by

When the trees had enough to drink and the sun starts to shine

I will follow that rainbow until I reach the end

Find that man and wish for hearts to mend.”

 

The young girl’s fable I didn’t believe

No gifts from a rainbow that you could receive

“Stop all that nonsense and come on inside.

Wipe off your shoes and make sure they have dried.”

 

A decade has passed and I remembered that girl

When the cloud turned black and started to whirl

It lasted awhile, but sure enough, the sun came out

With it, a huge rainbow that washed over my doubt

 

Insane as it seems, I drove for miles and miles

Stopped on a bridge overlooking some isles

I must have been dreaming, for what did I see?

The “end” of the rainbow, shining on me

But then I saw something even more strange

A frail old man suddenly at close range

 

He appeared out of nowhere, with just a white cloak

When’s the last time he ate? I’m sure he was broke.

So, so, skinny…

But his smile was just like the little girl’s

Genuine and kind, more valuable than pearls.

 

He said, “I’ll grant you a wish, just say the word.”

I must be going crazy, this is absurd.

“I gave all my belongings away

For hope that it would make people’s day

 

I can only give what i already own

But all of my seeds have just been sown.

You get one wish, so what would it be?”

 

I looked at him… were my eyes deceiving me?

A man who had nothing was offering me a request

I started to think and I felt so blessed

“Keep your things, if you even have any.

You know it’s quite hard to find many.. people like you.

I just ask for your wisdom, A heart… how does it mend?

It’s not like rubber that easily bends.”

 

Pointing his fingers to the rainbow above

He bowed his head and said, “It’s all about love.”

A wind blew so strongly that I shut my eyes

Then he was gone, with that four word goodbye.

 

-Okay, so cheesy poem that kind of / kind of not makes sense.

Categories: Fiction | Tags: , , , , , | Leave a comment

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