Monthly Archives: April 2013

My Drug

Give humans a stressful situation. . .

Some people drink alcohol, others take pills, and many smoke marijuana to “calm down.”

I drink TAZO green tea. I could even say it’s my drug. It heals me, physically and mentally. Is it an addiction? Maybe so, but it’s a pretty tasty one.

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Smiles and Wall Dents

I’m smiling so much right now. I could literally punch a wall. But the poor wall did nothing to deserve a dent, so I’ll just keep smiling.  🙂 happy happy happy hahah! (And just incase you’re wondering, I am not on drugs.)

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People are Awesome

People come and go throughout our lives. Those who wish to stay are there for a reason.

Who new that getting sick could be a good thing?
Today, I woke up at 4AM, feeling sick to the stomach. I was up until 6, until I finally went to my mom for help. Now, let me tell you how amazing she is. I went to her room, sobbing, because of the pain I was in, and she automatically shifted to her nurse mode. (Ironically, she is a nurse, and she was getting ready for work.) She gave me tea and crackers and tried her best to make me feel better. Her genuine kindness is insane. She really cares for me. I started crying (I thought  it was because of the pain), but I realized that I was so joyful. I am so blessed to have a mother like her. Although we don’t get along at times, I can honestly say that I wouldn’t ask for any other mom but her.
Thank you, Mom… for putting up with my stupid teenage hormones.

Even my friends were worried why I didn’t come to school. I will say it again: I am so blessed. People actually DO care. Don’t ever feel like you’re alone. There are people out there who love and care for you.

It’s just your job to find them. And when you do, make sure that you treasure them.

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Please

Please. Make everything go well. Thank you.

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I Changed my Mind

I finally thought about it, and yes, I did change my mind. Kind of.

So, this is what’s up. It happened in first grade, or was it 3rd…? (I have a bad memory). I had an assignment that asked what I wanted to be when I grew up, why, and even a drawing of my future self, doing whatever career i chose. I was around 5-7 years old, so clearly, I didn’t know much about careers. I chose one of the few jobs that I knew about: a nurse. My aunt was (and is) a nurse, so I said, why not?
I wrote that I wanted to be a nurse “to help the sick,” and I drew, the best as my little hands could, a girl wearing a nurse hat, treating a sick patient. Now that I think about it, I’m not even sure if I REALLY wanted to help the sick. Maybe I just wrote it to look humble. What a sick child I was. Haha just kidding. Maybe.

Anyways, after that, every time someone asked me what I wanted to be, I would always say, without hesitation, “a nurse.” I never thought about it much. I just had the idea in my mind that being a nurse is what i wanted To Be. But in reality, maybe it just wasn’t what I truly wanted. Now that I’m a little older, in a way, I do Want to work somewhat like a nurse. Helping people. This time, it’s genuine, but still, why do I feel like it’s just not going to complete me?

By the time I was 11, my mother had gone back to college to be a nurse. Now, she’s a registered nurse and her patients love her (except the crazy ones). Oh, did I also mention that my cousin passed her nursing exam? Also, my sister is in nursing school! A whole family of nurses! Crazy right? I’m on my way there too. I’m in my freshman year of college (and junior in hs), taking necessary subjects for my “nursing path.”

Now I feel stuck. I’m having second guesses. It’s pretty silly to be nervous about it, since I’m still sixteen, with my whole life ahead of me. And I can change my mind any time I want, but it feels weird, since I’ve had the mind set of being a nurse my entire life. That was it. I was going to be a nurse until the day that I shrivelled up and retire, then go around the world or something. Nothing else.

Consequently, I’ve had other career choices that I definitely thought about: architect, interior designer, chef, artist, musician, etc. But every time I thought about it, I laughed at myself. You can’t be any of those, silly! You’re going to be a nurse, and that’s basically it for you! I thought of the things that I loved to do as a “hobby.” Surely, a hobby couldn’t be your career right? Wrong. I got inspired by many of the youtubers that I follow. They said that they are truly happy for what they do: doing something they’re passionate about as their career.

Now, I know that I can do whatever I want, if i truly put all my effort into it. So, (hopefully, this is if most things turn out fine), I’ll finish college and do Get my degree for nursing (just to try it out as a new experience, and for financial stability). On the side, I want to write children’s books and help the hungry by cooking for them 🙂 and writing my own music. I have wayyyyy more, but that’s the main part.

Lol this post probably made no sense, but now I feel better. 🙂 i don’t feel so stuck anymore

Oh, one more thing…
What do I want to be when I grow up?
A better person, of course.

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