Monthly Archives: January 2013

The Rumors are True: I’m Human

Hello there! I’m Me.

Today, i figured out that I’m a human being.
Of course I’ve know that my entire life, but now I know another part to it.

I’m Me.
No. My name is not “Me,” but it’s true. I’m me. Myself.

I realized that however hard I try to be positive or be more calm or even just to be better person, I just can’t be as good as I wish I could be! I’m no saint and definitely no angel. My heart isn’t pure and dirt-free. I’m just a human being!

I try so hard to be a better person, but that “trying hard” shouldn’t be as forced as it is. Good nature comes naturally. Doing one thing but thinking another isn’t good. For instance, giving your money to a homeless man on the street just so you can have that “good feeling” is not necessary. If the only purpose of that bit of sympathy is for your own holiness, then what point does it have? We should learn to do good deeds out of the true kindness of our hearts and not to get rid of that “obligation” inside us. Some even use that as a payback. Oh, since I’ve helped an old lady today, I can do more bad things now and that can even it out! No. Just… no.

Now back to the topic of me trying to be a better person. It’s just not working as well as I thought it would be. I read multiple Buddhism articles and “peace of mind” blogs, thinking that in an instant, I too, could be like all those other people free from weary. I also tried being a better Catholic, praying to God
that I can control my emotions and be a happier person. But like I said, I just can’t be as “good” as I’d want to be. I’m not a rock. I get sad. Mad. Happy. Very emotional at times too.
I guess that life is just a journey where you truly find yourself.

I want to be a better friend. A better daughter. A better sister. But what is “better,” really? Someone who listens to her friend when they’re in need? Someone who tells her mother that she loves her daily? Someone who is always there for her sibling when she’s in pain?
I try. I really do… but I’m only human. Sometimes, I just can’t.  Is that excuse enough though?

Hi, I’m Me. How about you?

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